Is ours a failed Marriage?

Failed Marriage of two entities longing to fall in love…

A piece by Monalisa.

Eighteen years of being together

And yet I cannot say that

I fully understand you.

You continue to perplex me.

Though I tried hard

but still we are miles apart.

Is ours a failed marriage?

Eighteen years of being together

And yet I cannot say that

I love you

But I don’t hate you either.

There is ambivalence of feelings

Though I tried hard

but neither could I become yours

nor make you mine.

Is ours a failed marriage?

I devoted all my time

to you alone.

For you I severed ties

with my kith and kin

relinquished what was my own

but still you seem distant

still you seem aloof.

Is ours a failed marriage?

Though otherwise nonchalant

I burn with envy

when others command you

and the ease

with which you yield to them

I despise and pity myself together

lament at the inadequacies

not mine alone

yours as well

Yes you have inadequacies as well

But why am I alone

at the receiving end

of all the ignominy

Is this what we call

matrimony?

I vividly remember

our first meeting

and how thereafter

you insidiously started penetrating

into my system

enshrouding me

in your shroud

and yet leaving me bare.

I remember how mom said

that you were the best

Yeah ..you had to be

After all you were, “English medium”

Though we failed

each other several times,

eighteen years have passed

and I am still obsessed with you

you continue to intrigue

and excite me

and I still feel like

a new bride

My dear ENGLISH

ours cannot be a

failed marriage.