Knotted cherry stem words,
Leave my mouth now,
I can’t hold on to the tied syllables anymore.
Sweet rotting fruit basket of thoughts, you, in my head,
Decay and die, you are more toxic than the drug I take to hallucinate.
Warmth in the cold, fear in the dark, you
How do I escape?
Solitude is not my paternal land I can embrace.
Oh, you deadly silences,
You past midnight, close to dawn yet so far from my sweet sleep,
Special ingredient to my brewing thoughts.
“Does everything last forever?”
How much of everything can I hold?
I hold the universe in me, some say.
I’m a system of my own.
This unlike the man-made is still breaking,
In each tick, in every tock.
Blood gushing to my heart, beats 1 2 3 4,
Thoughts racing, now beats 1234 all at once.
So tell me? Everything?
What is this? This 10 letter word is a spell,
It can hold so many undefined entities.
Broken relationships, compromised relationships, deceitful love?
Broken dreams, failed promises, lost poetry?
Is forever a spectrum?
This forever in your sweet fairytale,
Turned rock into sand.
Romanticised youth to kill you at 75 or younger.
Oh, you sweet Forever you only bring the clichéd love alive in their minds,
All sweet things I loathe.
Just like my self-pity, I fall prey to.
Just like the foolish moth drawn to a flame.
Oh you sweet Forever,
Can you kill my fear, like you kill men?
Can you bury my insecurities, just like Shakespeare, Wordsworth
And all other dead poets?
Can you burn my thoughts to ashes?
Forever and Everything, my pretty muse,
A vortex I created with you,
I don’t know how,
A labyrinth I built out of you,
You’ve made me the creator of my own personalised catastrophe.
-Swathy Narayani S.